| Regrets |
[17 Sep 2003|10:42pm] |
"Aya"
I do apologize for snapping the other day. I'm just currently under a lot of stress from just about every side, Aya, and I'm freaking out. I know that is no reason for me to be snappish, I was just hot tempered.
I have, however, tried repeatedly to express to you that I do not like being licked and tied up and pinned and such. Not even jokingly. I've told you it makes me uncomfortable. What's worse is the fact that I feel like you're trying to make me a surrogate "Ken", for the other M. I'm not Ken.
M and I may look the same and sound the same and have other similarities but I. Am. Not. Them. It makes me very upset that you may not even care who I am inside... you just want "Ken" you want that damn character. At least... that is how you made me feel. It hurt my feelings deeply that you would act like that.
When I rp'd locking myself in a closet to get away from over-amerous Aya... that is because I really WOULD lock myself in a closet to get away from him. I don't like being chased like that. I don't like feeling trapped. That's how I felt, trapped.
I like you, alright. You, not "Aya". Aya can go rot. I like your hyperness and I think you're very amusing and entertaining. I don't, mind you, like being pidgeon-holed into a role. So I've played Ken for years... I don't think of myself as "Ken" anymore.
I grew out of that.
So, if you can look past my snappish reaction after my long day at work and trying to hunt up an apartment to move to when I may not even have money for rent and such for THIS place month to month... if you can forgive me that and accept I am not Ken. I am not M. I'm Mel... and I really hate being groped and licked randomly. That, I have days where I just do NOT want people touching me, not even in an RP...
If you can forgive me for not being that person you mistook me for... then, hopefully, we can still be friends. I really want that to be the case... I don't want a misunderstanding costing me your energetic presence... but I also need to make my boundries clear, because its not fair for me to feel uncomfortable just because I haven't told you what I can and cannot stand. Aswell, it is not fair to you to have to endure my random temper flares because I have not made myself clear to you.
Regretting my hasty actions and words...
Midare
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| Hello, my name is SAN. |
[07 Sep 2003|04:50am] |
Which ROMB Person Are You?
You're Chen San-Meng, janitor extraordinaire. You know you don't deserve your current lousy life and you know you can do better, but you're doing it for a reason. You don't have much friends, except for several extremely loyal ones. You know you've never been lower, so you tend to avoid meeting people you know you'll never see again after your life kicks start for the better. You hate girls with a passion, cuz they're turned on by your indifference. You spend your time alone instead, tinkering with 'borrowed' machine parts. Beware that even the most carefully-made plans could be thwarted by unseen circumstances.
ROMB
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[23 Aug 2003|03:46pm] |
( Quizes )
Well, there.
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| Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha |
[23 Aug 2003|03:34am] |
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Er... so, my room mate is bailing on me.
Also, I've let the phone line die, because I could never get hold of the person who's name it was in so I could never have the account looked INTO. Heh... so no land-line and I'll be living alone soon... so no deed for one, really now?
So. I got a cell phone.
Costs under 50.00/mo but that's before tax. But it gives me unlimited minutes from 6 pm until 8 am and free weekends starting at 6pm Friday until 8am Monday. I generally go to sleep between 5am and 7am sooo... I sleep through most of my "daytime minutes" anyway... thus, I only got 150 for a month. So 2.5 hours.
Generally, I don't use my phone until after midnight, anyway... so it should be no worry. Yeah...
Its a GSM phone, the kind that they've had in Eurpoe since... ages ago, which is just NOW "cutting edge" in the West. *snort* I just downloaded a Yu-Gi-Oh cell wallpaper off diviant art. Heh heh... maybe if I get zealous I'll d/l a Pierrot midi for a ring tone... or not. Meh.
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[15 Aug 2003|11:37pm] |
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mood |
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Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho
/ D GD DA D / Bm F#m / / G D / E A /
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We burn up the city, we're really a fright
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Yeah, saw Pirates of the Caribean today... if you haven't seen it, yet. Do.
Jack is so damn gay... he's funny as hell. Johnny Depp MADE that damn movie... without him it would be boring and predictable. He stole the show. Forget young Master Bloom a moment fangirlies... not that it will be difficult with Johnny Depp as a deadlock wearign, wrist flapping, hips swayign flamer of a Pirate who's mad off his nut.
"And it's such a PRETTY boat! Er... ship."
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[14 Aug 2003|01:47am] |
damn mei, stole my... something
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[12 Aug 2003|05:56am] |
*snerk*
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[10 Aug 2003|08:25pm] |
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This was fun, go here!
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| My so-called life... |
[10 Aug 2003|08:07pm] |
Yay nirvana!
See? So what if its alone, I'll die like hide, this is how to attain nirvana.
No secrets.
...who? What? WTF, infact? How about... "no".
Wow... Let's sum up...
I'm going to Marry soem guy named Justin, yet I'll be whacking off one day in 2054 and have a stroke. Yet, as I die I will attain Nirvana so it's all good?
Guess I can live with that. *snerk*
Rediculous.
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| ... |
[07 Aug 2003|01:28am] |
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mood |
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Ishida Takimori is mysterious and enigmatic; deep, perceptive, powerful, passionate and terribly, terribly sexy! The sentence above must be true because Ishida is a Scorpio and Scorpios as we all know are infamous for their interest in... well now, here's a funny thing. Despite what they say, Scorpios are not actually quite as wild and wicked as they are painted. Ishida has, it must be said, a very hypnotic appeal but what's truly mesmerising about Ishida is not his pout but his perspicacity. Ishida has an uncanny, almost spooky to see right through you. He can make you feel naked and exposed just by casting one meaningful glance in your direction. What he is looking at though, when he peers below the surface, is not your underwear but your underlying intention! "Where are you coming from? What are you up to? Can you be trusted? Are you going to tell the truth?" These are the questions that Ishida subconsciously fires out as soon as he sees you. His inner radar never fails to provide him with the right answer. He is sensitive beyond measure, and it is partly to protect his own sensitivity that he scrutinises people so thoroughly.
There is another reason why Ishida Takimori is so keen to see into your soul: he needs to know how sensitive you are. He knows from long, bitter experience that not many people can take the kind of candour that he cannot help but dispense. Ishida is not a person to mince his words, hold back his opinions or shy away from taboo topics. He doesn't want to cause offence, nor does he want to waste his time, so he picks his confidantes carefully. All of which brings us back to where we began. If you are sensitive enough to appreciate Ishida's special qualities you will consider that there is something exceptionally sexy about him and he will feel the same way about you. So perhaps Ishida Takimori is living proof that it is true what they say about Scorpios after all.
Find out about your "friend"
Yeah, fill in your name as your "friend"... unless you wanna pry into another's affairs.
So... anyone have an opinion on that statement? I know I rarely respect taboos, but I hardly call that warrenty "sexy"... I'm not sexy... I'm awkward.
Speaking of awkward, a friend at work yesterday... or maybe the day before... they came up and swatted me on the arm, told me they'd had a homosexual dream about me. They're straight so I just sort of laughed and asked if I was any good. They just grinned and admitted it wasn't really sexual.. I just... came up, patted their hand in the dream... said they were my boyfriend/girlfriend and held their hand or something.
I heard today they just quit and are moving back to China. Aww... I'll have to call them tomorrow to say bye.
***
I got caught in the rain today after work, it was a full blown thunderstorm with lightning all jagged across the sky, I got drenched... but it wasn't terribly cold.
Part of the time I hid under an alcove in a building, I saw this brown thing up inthe corner, for a second I thought, "Oh... its a bat" Then I went, "Nah... I'm not that lucky, it's probably a leaf." So I got on tip toe and looked close, it was small and brown and looked furry... and smooth here and there... but I still wasn't sure... so I slapped the wall and it moved. Then I laughed and told it I was sorry to be a pest, I just wanted to know what it was. Bats are cute.
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| Naivete... |
[06 Aug 2003|01:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
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You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected vibe." Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
*sweatdrops* Am I really so bad?
Yeah. I am.
Speaking of being taken for a ride. I was totally taken in by that book "The Princess Bride" wow... I have nothing but respect for the writer... whomever he, she or they may be... still not sure who really wrote the damn thing. I'll make a fan site to it as soon as I have it all figured out. *grins* I'm embarassed that I was so easily fooled... yet, some part of me is amused at it too. Even if it does make me blush. At least I'm not cynical and jaded, and at least I didn't throw the book across the mood and get all pissed that I was tricked. It was a good trick, well played out... I respect that.
Now, how am I going to write up my ramble when I make that fan site? LOL.
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siberian_kenken's journal
Othel - Material possessions and protection of those possessions, inheritance (can be genetic traits inherited from elders).
Ing - Fertility, successful conclusion to issue or situation, ending one cycle and beginning another.
Ansuz - Communications, wisdom and clarity, to attract others to your cause, increase magickal energy.